we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
