There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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