Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
