He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Randomize
