At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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