If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
