she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I think a kid would responsible me up
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
