guys are not supposed to queef...right?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
