No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
