I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
