Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I need to stop coming to work sober
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Randomize
