im drinking this country out of the recession.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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