I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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