Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
