I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
