Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
