So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
