i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
The Olympian is in my bed
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