maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
