you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Are we still banned from the library?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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