Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
