I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
