Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Randomize
