She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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