this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
