I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
