She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
