she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
