i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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