i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
