Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
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