Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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