Me. At least after what I've been through.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
What a dumb baby whore.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Randomize
