In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
