He is an equal opportunity slut.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
