"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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