I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
