You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
