its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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