I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
