the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
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