i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
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