please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
