this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
