JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
