i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
