Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
