I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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