i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Randomize
