sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
