I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
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